Yet another year later....a mosaic

Having not made another post since May 2015, nearly a year later, perhaps it's time to dust the shelves and resume. This is probably going to end up a very lengthy random rant, so my apologies in advance. But I need to speak, and it's time to start.

I have felt an inner strength simmering beneath the surface, a familiar feeling made unfamiliar through many years. Oh, it has bubbled there on occasion over some time, but it is always quelled by inner voices. But that strength is becoming insistent, refusing to be silenced. It actually began a couple of weeks ago, when I found an innocent little pink card (enclosed with my Pink Zebra Sprinkles):

"It's funny how day by day nothing seems to change but when you look back everything is different." ~Anonymous 

Then, more recently, I noticed yet another quote, when I was contemplating various plans yet feeling at a loss how to begin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

Then, today, we reviewed more messages and entries on the Lourdes Hospital Watchdog Facebook page about yet more people harmed. And, to top it off, in my Facebook Memories, a post came up from our other blog, Shawnee Forest Diaries, discussing David's first canoe trip three years ago today: http://shawneeforestdiaries.blogspot.com/2013/05/first-canoe-trip-after-shoulder-surgery.html

Okay, universe, I get it.

It's difficult enough to get one's life back on track trying to recover from any surgery; but after THREE surgeries (two botched and one repair, or four if you also include the first surgery in 2008) finding not only the physical strength to recuperate and recover but the mental capacity to heal is overwhelming. I feel I have been of little help in this regard for my husband; I have certainly had my own issues to deal with, physical and mental, in relation to his trauma and my own from years past. I've been able to deal with very little, which then consists of shutting myself down or crying at really stupid things. Sometimes, things so bad happen that they change you.

This unfortunately has been our reality, like it or not. Shortly before David tore his shoulder for the second time (the first in 2008), we had bought a building where we had recently relocated so that we could finally fully delve into the vintage motorcycle business he had had to delay for various reasons over the years. More on all that later, but by the time we closed the deal on the building in December 2012, he was in a sling again...with a dilapidated building we had counted on him being able to restore and remodel. Life, eh?

Fast forward to today and David has improved dramatically, mostly mentally. Physically, he still faces huge hurdles every day, and constant setbacks due to the damage caused by Hunt. Not only his shoulder was damaged, but his back, and the lingering side effects from the infections and the overdose he survived.

The vintage motorcycle business is slowly but surely getting off the ground, and that massive cavernous building is now home to a pretty darned great man-cave surrounded by mini-workshops so that business can grow and expand. His ingenuity, strength, determination, and perseverance is amazing, to say the least.

And...he has ridden a motorcycle again, something he never thought he would do. That is thanks to the wonderful doctors from Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis, MO. Without them, particularly Dr. Aaron Mark Chamberlain, any kind of recovery would have been impossible. Our gratitude cannot be expressed in words when David wasn't even sure they could save his arm, or his life, from the infection. He had lost all hope by that August 2013 appointment.

And you can bet he is still taking awesome photographs. His Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/ShawneeForestDiaries/?fref=ts has helped him through so much where he can post some of the photos he takes.

Yet, as I mentioned, we still hear from people that have also been harmed with unspeakable tragedies, not only by Philip Hunt, but at Lourdes with infections. Most recently a young boy whose family was in Paducah only visiting had to be taken to Lourdes for an emergency. He contracted an infection there and they are now having to confront their whole ordeal back where they live (I don't feel I can share any personal details, suffice it to say they are not close by). We know every second of every day is a horror no one should have to endure.

Every. Single. Second.

Over this time, my heart would go in my throat when we heard these because it was sure to cause yet another setback for us; feeling the anger welling all over again at the injustice of nothing being done about Hunt or Lourdes, and having no voice whatsoever. Days, that turned into years, of dealing with the trauma, still far too fresh in our own memories, and trying to "move on" with our lives.

And it wasn't only that. The thought of innocent people, old and young and everyone in between, being harmed causes us such consternation we would be inconsolable and stunned all over again. Feeling so helpless to assist and so worthless at being a mere ear to listen is disheartening and incapacitating in itself.

Our business, and the building, needed our complete attention or we would go under. Anything beyond existing day-to-day was impossible. And, to be sure, all this also ruins you financially with the hospital bills and associated costs, including physical therapy. With the threat of your own livelihood continually at risk, in addition to dealing with recovery, it all seems insurmountable at times. It's easy to say "pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get on with it" until you actually have to live it. Every aspect of the health care system in the US is an atrocity. It was made undoubtedly worse for David, coming from England and the NHS, where most of these problems wouldn't even have been an issue.

(I also must mention what an abomination the legal and justice systems are here as well, it's not only the health care system we have had to endure...but I can't deal with discussing that today too.)

While David would scream at the situation, I would curl up into a ball, cry and crawl into my shell wishing it for all to be over. At times, David would have to go into a very dark place in his brain, and he wouldn't allow me to go there with him. He didn't want me to see that world of his, the one that his haunted dreams would try to ease without success when he even could sleep. At times neither of us could help the other through.

He has refused any prescriptions for painkillers; this is hardly surprising since they nearly killed him back then. What he accidentally discovered was another remedy: anger. Anger increased his adrenaline which ultimately eased the physical pain. This carried him through some very rough times, but admittedly it is difficult to be around, particularly seeing a loved one in such pain and that helpless feeling washing over you.

Since that pain is constant, it seemed life was in an eternal and constant upheaval. Even the most innocuous things can trigger distress. While knowing the anger isn't even directed *at* you, hearing the words spilling out in desperation eventually causes your own anger, your own resentment at not only the doctor and hospital, but frustration at everyone who hasn't cared one iota what happened, at the entire situation we found ourselves in through no fault of our own.

The mosaic begins to form...

Once lives become a bit more "normal", it is easy to feel reluctant to allow yourselves back into that time, that detrimental period in life that caused so much pain and hurt. We can't think about it without so many horrible memories flooding our minds and there we go, right back into the darkness. One step forward, eight steps back. But change normally doesn't come from comfort, it takes discomfort.

But avoiding won't help. It ultimately doesn't help us, or others. Still searching for solutions and a pathway that will find ears that will listen in order to let all those like us feel they are not alone. That some positive change can happen, somehow. That if we can help even one person what we went through wouldn't just be in vain.

David, over all this time, has also found another avenue of easing pain: being creative. When he has trouble sleeping, which is still often, it's imperative to not sit there and stew over the dark thoughts and feelings. Doing activities such as making music, working on bikes or the building, art, photography, even walking down to the creek to feel surrounded by nature instead of the oppressive helps get him through. I've had to realize at times, too, he just needs to be listened to, with comments unnecessary.

But what has really saved us, time and time again, is this place. This simple, unassuming place where we live, where we finally moved to in late 2011 after dreaming of such a place. A connection to what is important, and it’s nothing that mankind has come up with.

It is so healing here in the woods near the river; it carried us through what is one of the most traumatic occurrences in our lives. Had we not been here, I don’t think either of us would be here to talk about it.

This rural area allows us to realize just how insignificant we are. That is not meant as a negative thing, it's quite the opposite. So unspoiled by mankind, we’re reminded that if we allow it, nature can clear our heads, heal our bodies, mend our tattered souls. It’s one of those things that the most eloquent bard truly can’t explain so I certainly can’t come close…it must be experienced.

This is where writers write, painters paint…an escape to a place off the beaten path that is a rare find in this world. There is only one prerequisite to enjoying it here: allow one’s self to immerse in it. You’re not likely to see another human being, and sometimes that is a good thing.  

I'll close this very long post with this. Another orthopedic surgeon, Ted Jefferson, is soon to go to trial over comments and "terrorist threats" made when he found dirty instruments while about to perform surgery at Baptist Health Hospital (also in Paducah). Disclaimer: "allegedly, of course". Having lived through (and still enduring) what can happen and how it devastates your lives, we can understand where he is coming from if he is trying to prevent an infection to occur in his patient. Isn't caring for the patient the important thing?

Until next time...

Infections at Lourdes Hospitals in Paducah KY Part 1

"Dr" Philip G. Hunt

Today's topic is one that is going to appear in several parts and is extremely important to us: infections in Kentucky hospitals (namely Lourdes Hospital). Its importance is undoubtedly due to the fact that my husband contracted an MSSA infection at Lourdes Hospital in Paducah KY during the original January 2013 surgery performed by none other than "orthopedic surgeon" Philip G. Hunt when he installed two Arthrex anchors and claimed he repaired my husband's shoulder tear.

This infection was left untreated intentionally for months, until it was finally treated by the infectious disease specialists at Washington University in St. Louis MO in August 2013 through February 2014 (and a month later there was an eye infection to deal with...but I'm getting ahead of myself).

My husband David felt there was something very wrong within days of the January 2013 surgery. Since his arm was to be completely immobile due to the sling and block provided to him (photo at right taken February 15, 2013) for six weeks, it was difficult to ascertain everything or pinpoint what was wrong.

The pain David felt was excruciating every second of every day, similar to a screwdriver being dug into you. Go ahead, grab one and jab yourself with it, I'll wait. That's what he lived with from January until August.

He could tell the problem was deep within a short time, and called Hunt's office within days to alert them of a problem. On the 6th, Hunt's office called in a prescription for Clindamycin and on the 11th we went to their office for a consultation. Hunt was nowhere to be found, we only saw his PA Tanna Vaughan, who said she couldn't imagine what the problem could be and proudly showed us some photos of the surgery. (note: when we requested the records from their office much later on, these photos were nowhere to be seen so it's hard telling if those were actual photos or not...they could have been stock photos they downloaded from the internet for all we know).  On that day, she suggested that David continue the Clindamycin so we filled the prescription while we were there and decided to try to salvage the day by going out to eat at Whaler's Catch, particularly since it was my birthday.

I felt horrible dragging David there, he was extremely uncomfortable and the sling was bothering him greatly already. If you can see it poking out, he had to tuck one of our fabric napkins under it to avoid any further irritation. He went through life just putting on a brave face for months.

This was the extent of our lives for a very long time. Snippets of trying to salvage a horrible situation or just trying to feel normal again. Unfortunately it never lasted very long, the pain would just be too great and we would have to return home so he could rest the best he could, which was nigh impossible.

Back to infections. Did you know that Kentucky has no laws regarding the reporting of infections? According to this website at http://www.hospitalinfection.org/state_reporting.shtml Kentucky is one of 13 states (and D. C.) that do not have any laws for reporting, although it is noted under State Reporting:
Kentucky

Kentucky hospitals are not required to report HAIs, and no legislation is pending on the subject. However, many hospitals in the state report HAI data to NHSN, and the information can be found using http://www.medicare.gov/hospitalcompare/search.html. 

For more information, visit: http://chfs.ky.gov/dph/

I think you can see the disconcerting red for Lourdes Hospital. Keep in mind this is in regards to MRSA, and "voluntary information". My husband had MSSA which is apparently an enormous problem but rarely mentioned even in states that do have laws for reporting infections. MSSA nearly cost my husband his arm and his life; by the time he had his third surgery in August, he lost an extensive amount of bone due to it. Why pinpoint only certain infection types to be reported? Insane. 

What ARE the actual facts regarding patients that contract MSSA? Your guess is as good as mine. We have serious issues folks, how do these infections occur? Hunt claimed it was an "infected" anchor (the Arthrex ones) and indeed during the August surgery it appeared to be the origin of the infection. So, pray tell, how do two separately packaged anchors come to be infected? Not just the anchors. the THREADS of the anchors. We'll be discussing these anchors soon too. Did Hunt intentionally put MSSA on the anchors? Was it an accident? Later you will see why I'm asking these questions....

In a recent thread on the Topix forum, I happened across this recent entry by someone who apparently worked in surgery with Hunt:  

"coworker" wrote: "You wouldn't want to know how he is as a surgeonin [sic] surgery. I worked with him. No no no, don't go to him...he brings his coffee into a sterile environment all the time."

Even if Hunt didn't put the MSSA directly on the threads of the anchors himself, he is just as guilty if he is doing this sort of thing in a surgery. It's inexcusable. 

Still want to go to Hunt? Hope you're the praying sort, or very lucky, because that's the only thing going to save you. And don't bother reporting it to Lourdes Hospital, they aren't interested. More on them later too. 

Much more to come regarding infections later...